hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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