he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i think i just lost a toe
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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