My first STD was from a foam party
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
