I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
