Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
