When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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