"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
