i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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