Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
