Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I party with great urgency now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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