I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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