They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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