I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
