I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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