ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
