Whod you bang
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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