Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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