so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
