I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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