update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
