He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
