the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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