I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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