so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize