Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
