I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
