he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
