These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize