Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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