i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
