i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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