I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
