I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
