if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
