i may or may not be watching the land before time
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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