is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize