I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
