I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
