feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
