tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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