Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
