Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
