she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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