she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
