This is not my ceiling
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
