No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
