Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize