Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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