Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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