Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize