Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
50% drunk capacity currently
Randomize
