I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
