I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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