Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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